Top 100 Facts About Bekee Gibson

  1. Bekee Gibson is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  2. Bekee Gibson irons her clothes while she's wearing them.
  3. Bekee Gibson used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
  4. Bekee Gibson is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
  5. Bekee Gibson sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
  6. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Bekee Gibson, 3. Cancer
  7. Bekee Gibson is the only one who can "try this at home."
  8. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Bekee Gibson that she had tested positive. She laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  9. Bekee Gibson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Bekee Gibson.
  10. Bekee Gibson was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  11. Along with her black belt, Bekee Gibson often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call her on it. Ever.
  12. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Bekee Gibson."
  13. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Bekee Gibson".
  14. A picture is worth a thousand words. A picture of Bekee Gibson is worth 1 billion words.
  15. Bekee Gibson's dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Bekee Gibson will not take crap from anyone.
  16. For Bekee Gibson, every street is "one way". Her way.
  17. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Bekee Gibson will beat his ass and take it.
  18. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Bekee Gibson always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  19. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Bekee Gibson.
  20. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Bekee Gibson and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  21. Crop circles are Bekee Gibson's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  22. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Bekee Gibson's first visit to Tokyo.
  23. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Bekee Gibson is on.
  24. Bekee Gibson and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  25. For undercover police work, Bekee Gibson pins her badge underneath her shirt, directly into her chest.
  26. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Bekee Gibson to go around.
  27. Guns don't kill people. Bekee Gibson kills people.
  28. Google won't search for Bekee Gibson because it knows you don't find Bekee Gibson, she finds you.
  29. If Bekee Gibson wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.
  30. If you work in an office with Bekee Gibson, don't ask her for her three-hole-punch.
  31. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Bekee Gibson.
  32. In an act of great philanthropy, Bekee Gibson made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. She donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
  33. If Bekee Gibson wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
  34. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Bekee Gibson.
  35. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Bekee Gibson could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  36. If you ask Bekee Gibson what time it is, she always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" she roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  37. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Bekee Gibson.
  38. Bekee Gibson always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  39. If you spell Bekee Gibson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  40. Bekee Gibson became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
  41. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Bekee Gibson needs toothpicks.
  42. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Bekee Gibson turned that wine into beer.
  43. Bekee Gibson can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  44. Bekee Gibson can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
  45. Bekee Gibson can speak braille.
  46. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Bekee Gibson.
  47. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Bekee Gibson a giant meteor.
  48. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Bekee Gibson."
  49. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Bekee Gibson roundhouse kick.
  50. Love does hurts. But not as much as Bekee Gibson.
  51. Most people fear the Reaper. Bekee Gibson considers him "a promising Rookie".
  52. A man once claimed Bekee Gibson kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  53. Little known medical fact: Bekee Gibson invented the Caesarean section when she roundhouse-kicked her way out of her monther's womb.
  54. No matter what your mother always said, Bekee Gibson can tune a fish.
  55. Bekee Gibson can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  56. Bekee Gibson died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  57. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Bekee Gibson jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  58. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Bekee Gibson is looking for it.
  59. Not everyone that Bekee Gibson is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
  60. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Bekee Gibson.
  61. Only Bekee Gibson can prevent forest fires.
  62. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply... Bekee Gibson
  63. Once a cobra bit Bekee Gibson's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  64. Q: How many Bekee Gibson's does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Bekee Gibson prefers to kill in the dark.
  65. Fifty years ago, Bekee Gibson accidentally stubbed her toe. The USA still hasn't fully repaired all of the ensuing damage.
  66. On her birthday, Bekee Gibson randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  67. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Bekee Gibson fight.
  68. Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Bekee Gibson bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
  69. President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Bekee Gibson *carried* her the same distance, but in half the time.
  70. Bekee Gibson counted to infinity - twice.
  71. People created the automobile to escape from Bekee Gibson...Not to be outdone, Bekee Gibson created the automobile accident.
  72. Bekee Gibson does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
  73. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Bekee Gibson likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  74. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Bekee Gibson with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Bekee Gibson cannot be in two places at the same time.
  75. Bekee Gibson doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  76. Bekee Gibson invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
  77. Bekee Gibson is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
  78. Bekee Gibson can tie her shoes with her feet.
  79. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Bekee Gibson pajamas.
  80. The crossing lights in Bekee Gibson's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Bekee Gibson punching or kicking a pedestrian.
  81. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Bekee Gibson was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
  82. The Bible was originally titled "Bekee Gibson and Friends"
  83. The chief export of Bekee Gibson is Pain.
  84. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Bekee Gibson"
  85. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Bekee Gibson come off without a hitch.
  86. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Bekee Gibson punched herself in the face.
  87. Bekee Gibson does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Bekee Gibson goes killing.
  88. Bekee Gibson was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  89. The easiest way to determine Bekee Gibson's age is to cut her in half and count the rings. Unfortunately, nothing can cut through Bekee Gibson.
  90. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Bekee Gibson didn't kill you in your sleep.
  91. The First rule of Bekee Gibson is: you do not talk about Bekee Gibson.
  92. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Bekee Gibson.
  93. The only sure things are Death and Taxes… and when Bekee Gibson goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
  94. The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Bekee Gibson.
  95. The last man who made eye contact with Bekee Gibson was Ray Charles.
  96. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Bekee Gibson. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
  97. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Bekee Gibson 3. Cancer.
  98. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Bekee Gibson out. It failed miserably.
  99. The square root of Bekee Gibson is pain. Do not try to square Bekee Gibson, the result is death.
  100. The only time Bekee Gibson was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.

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Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.