Top 100 Facts About Bekee Gibson

  1. Bekee Gibson is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  2. Bekee Gibson irons her clothes while she's wearing them.
  3. Bekee Gibson used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
  4. Bekee Gibson is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
  5. Bekee Gibson sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
  6. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Bekee Gibson, 3. Cancer
  7. Bekee Gibson is the only one who can "try this at home."
  8. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Bekee Gibson that she had tested positive. She laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  9. Bekee Gibson's blood type is WD-40.
  10. Bekee Gibson was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
  11. Along with her black belt, Bekee Gibson often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call her on it. Ever.
  12. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Bekee Gibson."
  13. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Bekee Gibson".
  14. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Bekee Gibson is worth 1 billion words.
  15. Bekee Gibson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Bekee Gibson.
  16. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Bekee Gibson.
  17. For undercover police work, Bekee Gibson pins her badge underneath her shirt, directly into her chest.
  18. Crop circles are Bekee Gibson's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  19. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Bekee Gibson always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  20. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Bekee Gibson and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  21. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Bekee Gibson to go around.
  22. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Bekee Gibson will beat his ass and take it.
  23. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Bekee Gibson is on.
  24. Bekee Gibson and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  25. For Bekee Gibson, every street is "one way". Her way.
  26. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Bekee Gibson while she was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
  27. Google won't search for Bekee Gibson because it knows you don't find Bekee Gibson, she finds you.
  28. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Bekee Gibson's first visit to Tokyo.
  29. If Bekee Gibson wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
  30. If you spell Bekee Gibson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  31. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Bekee Gibson.
  32. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Bekee Gibson.
  33. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Bekee Gibson.
  34. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Bekee Gibson … dies.
  35. In an act of great philanthropy, Bekee Gibson made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. She donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
  36. If Bekee Gibson wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.
  37. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Bekee Gibson would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
  38. Bekee Gibson always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  39. If you Google search "Bekee Gibson getting her ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  40. Bekee Gibson became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
  41. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Bekee Gibson". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Bekee Gibson.
  42. In an emergency, Bekee Gibson can be used as a floatation device.
  43. Bekee Gibson can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  44. Bekee Gibson can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
  45. Bekee Gibson can speak braille.
  46. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Bekee Gibson.
  47. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Bekee Gibson needs toothpicks.
  48. Most people fear the Reaper. Bekee Gibson considers him "a promising Rookie".
  49. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Bekee Gibson jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  50. Little known medical fact: Bekee Gibson invented the Caesarean section when she roundhouse-kicked her way out of her monther's womb.
  51. Love does hurts. But not as much as Bekee Gibson.
  52. A man once claimed Bekee Gibson kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  53. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Bekee Gibson is looking for it.
  54. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Bekee Gibson roundhouse kick.
  55. Bekee Gibson can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  56. Bekee Gibson died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  57. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Bekee Gibson."
  58. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Bekee Gibson can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell she wants.
  59. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Bekee Gibson.
  60. No matter what your mother always said, Bekee Gibson can tune a fish.
  61. Fifty years ago, Bekee Gibson accidentally stubbed her toe. The USA still hasn't fully repaired all of the ensuing damage.
  62. People created the automobile to escape from Bekee Gibson...Not to be outdone, Bekee Gibson created the automobile accident.
  63. On her birthday, Bekee Gibson randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  64. President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Bekee Gibson *carried* her the same distance, but in half the time.
  65. Once a cobra bit Bekee Gibson's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  66. On a high school math test, Bekee Gibson put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Bekee Gibson solves all her problems with Violence.
  67. Q: How many Bekee Gibson's does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Bekee Gibson prefers to kill in the dark.
  68. Only Bekee Gibson can prevent forest fires.
  69. Police label anyone attacking Bekee Gibson as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  70. Bekee Gibson counted to infinity - twice.
  71. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Bekee Gibson beats all 3 at the same time.
  72. Bekee Gibson does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
  73. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Bekee Gibson asks for a body bag.
  74. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Bekee Gibson's house one Christmas.
  75. Bekee Gibson doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  76. Bekee Gibson invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
  77. Bekee Gibson is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
  78. Bekee Gibson can tie her shoes with her feet.
  79. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Bekee Gibson likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  80. The chief export of Bekee Gibson is Pain.
  81. The easiest way to determine Bekee Gibson's age is to cut her in half and count the rings. Unfortunately, nothing can cut through Bekee Gibson.
  82. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Bekee Gibson come off without a hitch.
  83. The Bible was originally titled "Bekee Gibson and Friends"
  84. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Bekee Gibson"
  85. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Bekee Gibson didn't kill you in your sleep.
  86. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Bekee Gibson was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
  87. Bekee Gibson does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Bekee Gibson goes killing.
  88. Bekee Gibson was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  89. The crossing lights in Bekee Gibson's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Bekee Gibson punching or kicking a pedestrian.
  90. Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Bekee Gibson gets too hot.
  91. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Bekee Gibson.
  92. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Bekee Gibson punched herself in the face.
  93. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Bekee Gibson 3. Cancer.
  94. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Bekee Gibson. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
  95. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Bekee Gibson out. It failed miserably.
  96. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Bekee Gibson's fist.
  97. The last man who made eye contact with Bekee Gibson was Ray Charles.
  98. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Bekee Gibson has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  99. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Bekee Gibson. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
  100. The only sure things are Death and Taxes… and when Bekee Gibson goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

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Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.