Top 100 Facts About Miley Cyrus

  1. Miley Cyrus irons her clothes while she's wearing them.
  2. Miley Cyrus is the only one who can "try this at home."
  3. Miley Cyrus invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
  4. Miley Cyrus was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
  5. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Miley Cyrus and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  6. Miley Cyrus is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
  7. Miley Cyrus's blood type is WD-40.
  8. Miley Cyrus is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
  9. Miley Cyrus sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
  10. Circles exist because Miley Cyrus beat the crap out of some squares.
  11. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Miley Cyrus is worth 1 billion words.
  12. Along with her black belt, Miley Cyrus often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call her on it. Ever.
  13. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Miley Cyrus that she had tested positive. She laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  14. Crop circles are Miley Cyrus's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  15. For Miley Cyrus, every street is "one way". Her way.
  16. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Miley Cyrus always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  17. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Miley Cyrus to go around.
  18. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Miley Cyrus's first visit to Tokyo.
  19. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Miley Cyrus."
  20. A man once claimed Miley Cyrus kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  21. Miley Cyrus's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Miley Cyrus.
  22. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Miley Cyrus".
  23. For undercover police work, Miley Cyrus pins her badge underneath her shirt, directly into her chest.
  24. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Miley Cyrus will beat his ass and take it.
  25. Miley Cyrus always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  26. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Miley Cyrus.
  27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Miley Cyrus.
  28. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Miley Cyrus.
  29. If you work in an office with Miley Cyrus, don't ask her for her three-hole-punch.
  30. If you Google search "Miley Cyrus getting her ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  31. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Miley Cyrus, 3. Cancer
  32. Google won't search for Miley Cyrus because it knows you don't find Miley Cyrus, she finds you.
  33. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Miley Cyrus … dies.
  34. If you spell Miley Cyrus in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  35. Guns don't kill people. Miley Cyrus kills People.
  36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Miley Cyrus could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  37. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Miley Cyrus is on.
  38. If Miley Cyrus wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.
  39. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Miley Cyrus". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Miley Cyrus.
  40. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Miley Cyrus would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
  41. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Miley Cyrus.
  42. James Cameron wanted Miley Cyrus to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  43. Miley Cyrus and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  44. Miley Cyrus can kill two stones with one bird.
  45. Miley Cyrus can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  46. Little known medical fact: Miley Cyrus invented the Caesarean section when she roundhouse-kicked her way out of her monther's womb.
  47. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Miley Cyrus."
  48. Love does hurts. But not as much as Miley Cyrus.
  49. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Miley Cyrus is looking for it.
  50. No matter what your mother always said, Miley Cyrus can tune a fish.
  51. Miley Cyrus can speak braille.
  52. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Miley Cyrus"
  53. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Miley Cyrus needs toothpicks.
  54. Miley Cyrus can tie her shoes with her feet.
  55. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Miley Cyrus jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  56. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Miley Cyrus roundhouse kick.
  57. Miley Cyrus died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  58. On her birthday, Miley Cyrus randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  59. Miley Cyrus counted to infinity - twice.
  60. Once a cobra bit Miley Cyrus's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  61. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply... Miley Cyrus
  62. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Miley Cyrus beats all 3 at the same time.
  63. Miley Cyrus became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
  64. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Miley Cyrus.
  65. On a high school math test, Miley Cyrus put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Miley Cyrus solves all her problems with Violence.
  66. People created the automobile to escape from Miley Cyrus...Not to be outdone, Miley Cyrus created the automobile accident.
  67. Not everyone that Miley Cyrus is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
  68. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Miley Cyrus fight.
  69. Miley Cyrus can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  70. Only Miley Cyrus can prevent forest fires.
  71. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Miley Cyrus asks for a body bag.
  72. Police label anyone attacking Miley Cyrus as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  73. President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Miley Cyrus *carried* her the same distance, but in half the time.
  74. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Miley Cyrus glare will liquefy your kidneys.
  75. Miley Cyrus does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
  76. Miley Cyrus is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  77. Miley Cyrus doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  78. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Miley Cyrus come off without a hitch.
  79. The crossing lights in Miley Cyrus's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Miley Cyrus punching or kicking a pedestrian.
  80. The Bible was originally titled "Miley Cyrus and Friends"
  81. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Miley Cyrus didn't kill you in your sleep.
  82. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Miley Cyrus punched herself in the face.
  83. Miley Cyrus used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
  84. Miley Cyrus can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
  85. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Miley Cyrus likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  86. Miley Cyrus was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
  87. The easiest way to determine Miley Cyrus's age is to cut her in half and count the rings. Unfortunately, nothing can cut through Miley Cyrus.
  88. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Miley Cyrus was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
  89. Miley Cyrus was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  90. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Miley Cyrus out. It failed miserably.
  91. Miley Cyrus was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  92. The last man who made eye contact with Miley Cyrus was Ray Charles.
  93. The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Miley Cyrus.
  94. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Miley Cyrus played in second grade.
  95. Miley Cyrus does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Miley Cyrus goes killing.
  96. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Miley Cyrus.
  97. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Miley Cyrus has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  98. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Miley Cyrus. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
  99. The First rule of Miley Cyrus is: you do not talk about Miley Cyrus.
  100. The square root of Miley Cyrus is pain. Do not try to square Miley Cyrus, the result is death.

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Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.