Top 100 Facts About Hilary Duff

  1. Hilary Duff is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
  2. Hilary Duff is the only one who can "try this at home."
  3. Hilary Duff used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
  4. Hilary Duff irons her clothes while she's wearing them.
  5. Hilary Duff is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  6. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Hilary Duff is on.
  7. Hilary Duff was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
  8. Hilary Duff's dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Hilary Duff will not take crap from anyone.
  9. Hilary Duff is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
  10. Hilary Duff's blood type is WD-40.
  11. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Hilary Duff is worth 1 billion words.
  12. Hilary Duff's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Hilary Duff.
  13. Hilary Duff was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  14. A man once claimed Hilary Duff kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  15. Hilary Duff was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  16. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Hilary Duff."
  17. Along with her black belt, Hilary Duff often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call her on it. Ever.
  18. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Hilary Duff.
  19. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Hilary Duff while she was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
  20. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Hilary Duff, 3. Cancer
  21. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Hilary Duff always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  22. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Hilary Duff that she had tested positive. She laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  23. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Hilary Duff will beat his ass and take it.
  24. For Hilary Duff, every street is "one way". Her way.
  25. Hilary Duff always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  26. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Hilary Duff.
  27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Hilary Duff.
  28. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Hilary Duff … dies.
  29. If you work in an office with Hilary Duff, don't ask her for her three-hole-punch.
  30. Hilary Duff became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
  31. Hilary Duff can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  32. If you spell Hilary Duff in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  33. If Hilary Duff wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.
  34. If you Google search "Hilary Duff getting her ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  35. In an act of great philanthropy, Hilary Duff made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. She donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
  36. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Hilary Duff.
  37. If Hilary Duff wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
  38. Hilary Duff can kill two stones with one bird.
  39. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Hilary Duff could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  40. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Hilary Duff a giant meteor.
  41. If you ask Hilary Duff what time it is, she always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" she roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  42. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Hilary Duff". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Hilary Duff.
  43. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Hilary Duff".
  44. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Hilary Duff needs toothpicks.
  45. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Hilary Duff turned that wine into beer.
  46. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Hilary Duff"
  47. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Hilary Duff was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
  48. Hilary Duff can tie her shoes with her feet.
  49. Hilary Duff can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
  50. Most people fear the Reaper. Hilary Duff considers him "a promising Rookie".
  51. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Hilary Duff can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell she wants.
  52. Hilary Duff and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  53. Love does hurts. But not as much as Hilary Duff.
  54. Hilary Duff can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  55. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Hilary Duff roundhouse kick.
  56. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Hilary Duff."
  57. Hilary Duff does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
  58. On her birthday, Hilary Duff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  59. Hilary Duff died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  60. On a high school math test, Hilary Duff put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Hilary Duff solves all her problems with Violence.
  61. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply... Hilary Duff
  62. Hilary Duff doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  63. Hilary Duff invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
  64. People created the automobile to escape from Hilary Duff...Not to be outdone, Hilary Duff created the automobile accident.
  65. Only Hilary Duff can prevent forest fires.
  66. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Hilary Duff beats all 3 at the same time.
  67. Q: How many Hilary Duff's does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Hilary Duff prefers to kill in the dark.
  68. Once a cobra bit Hilary Duff's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  69. Fifty years ago, Hilary Duff accidentally stubbed her toe. The USA still hasn't fully repaired all of the ensuing damage.
  70. Hilary Duff is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
  71. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Hilary Duff fight.
  72. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Hilary Duff pajamas.
  73. Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Hilary Duff bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
  74. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Hilary Duff asks for a body bag.
  75. Hilary Duff counted to infinity - twice.
  76. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Hilary Duff likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  77. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Hilary Duff with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Hilary Duff cannot be in two places at the same time.
  78. Hilary Duff can speak braille.
  79. Simply by pulling on both ends, Hilary Duff can stretch diamonds back into coal.
  80. Hilary Duff's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them.
  81. Hilary Duff sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
  82. The chief export of Hilary Duff is Pain.
  83. Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Hilary Duff gets too hot.
  84. Hilary Duff does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Hilary Duff goes killing.
  85. The Bible was originally titled "Hilary Duff and Friends"
  86. Hilary Duff has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.
  87. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Hilary Duff was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
  88. The crossing lights in Hilary Duff's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Hilary Duff punching or kicking a pedestrian.
  89. Crop circles are Hilary Duff's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  90. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Hilary Duff out. It failed miserably.
  91. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Hilary Duff to go around.
  92. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Hilary Duff has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  93. The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Hilary Duff.
  94. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Hilary Duff's first visit to Tokyo.
  95. Guns don't kill people. Hilary Duff kills People.
  96. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Hilary Duff. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
  97. The only sure things are Death and Taxes… and when Hilary Duff goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
  98. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Hilary Duff played in second grade.
  99. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Hilary Duff. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
  100. The last man who made eye contact with Hilary Duff was Ray Charles.

This article was brought to you by 100factsabout.com and LoopyVids.com.
Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.