Top 100 Facts About Anca Soare

  1. A picture is worth a thousand words. A picture of Anca Soare is worth 1 billion words.
  2. Anca Soare is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.
  3. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Anca Soare, 3. Cancer
  4. A man once claimed Anca Soare kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  5. Anca Soare used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
  6. Anca Soare is the only one who can "try this at home."
  7. Anca Soare is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  8. Anca Soare was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  9. Anca Soare is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
  10. Anca Soare's dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Anca Soare will not take crap from anyone.
  11. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Anca Soare is on.
  12. Anca Soare was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
  13. Anca Soare was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  14. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Anca Soare while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
  15. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Anca Soare that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  16. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Anca Soare to go around.
  17. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Anca Soare"
  18. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Anca Soare".
  19. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Anca Soare."
  20. Crop circles are Anca Soare's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  21. Anca Soare became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.
  22. Anca Soare can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  23. Anca Soare can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  24. Along with his black belt, Anca Soare often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
  25. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Anca Soare.
  26. Anca Soare always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  27. Anca Soare can tie his shoes with his feet.
  28. Anca Soare counted to infinity - twice.
  29. If you Google search "Anca Soare getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  30. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Anca Soare would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
  31. If you ask Anca Soare what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  32. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Anca Soare.
  33. Anca Soare can kill two stones with one bird.
  34. If Anca Soare wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
  35. Anca Soare can predict the shuffle on his iPod.
  36. Anca Soare and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  37. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Anca Soare could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  38. If you work in an office with Anca Soare, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
  39. If you spell Anca Soare in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  40. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Anca Soare turned that wine into beer.
  41. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Anca Soare.
  42. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Anca Soare a giant meteor.
  43. Anca Soare died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  44. In an emergency, Anca Soare can be used as a floatation device.
  45. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Anca Soare was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
  46. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Anca Soare can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
  47. Anca Soare can speak braille.
  48. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Anca Soare is looking for it.
  49. Anca Soare does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Anca Soare goes killing.
  50. Anca Soare has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
  51. Anca Soare doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  52. Little known medical fact: Anca Soare invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
  53. Anca Soare sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
  54. Anca Soare's blood type is WD-40.
  55. Anca Soare's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Anca Soare.
  56. Anca Soare does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction
  57. Anca Soare invented the hammer when he was tired of using his forehead to slam nails into wood.
  58. Anca Soare irons his clothes while he's wearing them.
  59. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Anca Soare.
  60. For Anca Soare, every street is "one way". His way.
  61. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Anca Soare beats all 3 at the same time.
  62. Police label anyone attacking Anca Soare as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  63. Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Anca Soare bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
  64. Once a cobra bit Anca Soare's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  65. Anca Soare's family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.
  66. Only Anca Soare can prevent forest fires.
  67. Circles exist because Anca Soare beat the crap out of some squares.
  68. Anca Soare is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  69. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Anca Soare fight.
  70. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply... Anca Soare
  71. People created the automobile to escape from Anca Soare...Not to be outdone, Anca Soare created the automobile accident.
  72. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Anca Soare with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Anca Soare cannot be in two places at the same time.
  73. President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Anca Soare *carried* his the same distance, but in half the time.
  74. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Anca Soare pajamas.
  75. For undercover police work, Anca Soare pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
  76. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Anca Soare's house one Christmas.
  77. Simply by pulling on both ends, Anca Soare can stretch diamonds back into coal.
  78. Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Anca Soare gets too hot.
  79. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Anca Soare always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  80. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Anca Soare didn't kill you in your sleep.
  81. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Anca Soare's first visit to Tokyo.
  82. Guns don't kill people. Anca Soare kills people.
  83. Google won't search for Anca Soare because it knows you don't find Anca Soare, he finds you.
  84. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Anca Soare come off without a hitch.
  85. In an act of great philanthropy, Anca Soare made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
  86. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Anca Soare". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Anca Soare.
  87. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Anca Soare needs toothpicks.
  88. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Anca Soare will beat his ass and take it.
  89. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Anca Soare … dies.
  90. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Anca Soare.
  91. Most people fear the Reaper. Anca Soare considers him "a promising Rookie".
  92. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Anca Soare."
  93. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Anca Soare played in second grade.
  94. The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Anca Soare in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
  95. The only time Anca Soare was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
  96. The last man who made eye contact with Anca Soare was Ray Charles.
  97. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Anca Soare smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
  98. The only sure things are Death and Taxes… and when Anca Soare goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
  99. James Cameron wanted Anca Soare to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  100. If Anca Soare wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.

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Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.