Top 100 Facts About Anca Anca

  1. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Anca Anca that she had tested positive. She laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  2. A man once claimed Anca Anca kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  3. Anca Anca was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
  4. Anca Anca is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
  5. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Anca Anca is on.
  6. Anca Anca was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
  7. Anca Anca is the only one who can "try this at home."
  8. Anca Anca's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them.
  9. Along with her black belt, Anca Anca often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call her on it. Ever.
  10. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Anca Anca and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  11. Anca Anca was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  12. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Anca Anca."
  13. Anca Anca was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  14. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Anca Anca while she was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
  15. Anca Anca's blood type is WD-40.
  16. For undercover police work, Anca Anca pins her badge underneath her shirt, directly into her chest.
  17. Circles exist because Anca Anca beat the crap out of some squares.
  18. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Anca Anca"
  19. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Anca Anca.
  20. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Anca Anca is worth 1 billion words.
  21. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Anca Anca.
  22. Anca Anca always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  23. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Anca Anca".
  24. Guns don't kill people. Anca Anca kills People.
  25. Anca Anca and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  26. Anca Anca can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  27. Anca Anca became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
  28. Google won't search for Anca Anca because it knows you don't find Anca Anca, she finds you.
  29. Anca Anca can tie her shoes with her feet.
  30. If Anca Anca wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
  31. If you ask Anca Anca what time it is, she always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" she roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  32. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Anca Anca … dies.
  33. Anca Anca can speak braille.
  34. Anca Anca can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  35. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Anca Anca could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  36. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Anca Anca would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
  37. Anca Anca counted to infinity - twice.
  38. In an emergency, Anca Anca can be used as a floatation device.
  39. If you work in an office with Anca Anca, don't ask her for her three-hole-punch.
  40. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Anca Anca smile, but only 2 to make her destroy an orphanage.
  41. Anca Anca died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  42. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Anca Anca, 3. Cancer
  43. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Anca Anca turned that wine into beer.
  44. Anca Anca does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Anca Anca goes killing.
  45. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Anca Anca was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
  46. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Anca Anca can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell she wants.
  47. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Anca Anca". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Anca Anca.
  48. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Anca Anca jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  49. James Cameron wanted Anca Anca to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  50. Anca Anca does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
  51. Anca Anca has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.
  52. Anca Anca can kill two stones with one bird.
  53. Most people fear the Reaper. Anca Anca considers him "a promising Rookie".
  54. Anca Anca invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
  55. Anca Anca doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  56. Not everyone that Anca Anca is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
  57. Anca Anca irons her clothes while she's wearing them.
  58. Anca Anca is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
  59. Anca Anca is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  60. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Anca Anca.
  61. Anca Anca's dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Anca Anca will not take crap from anyone.
  62. Fifty years ago, Anca Anca accidentally stubbed her toe. The USA still hasn't fully repaired all of the ensuing damage.
  63. Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Anca Anca bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
  64. On a high school math test, Anca Anca put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Anca Anca solves all her problems with Violence.
  65. Anca Anca's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Anca Anca.
  66. Anca Anca is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
  67. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Anca Anca fight.
  68. Police label anyone attacking Anca Anca as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  69. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Anca Anca to go around.
  70. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Anca Anca's house one Christmas.
  71. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply... Anca Anca
  72. Staring at Anca Anca for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
  73. Crop circles are Anca Anca's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
  74. Anca Anca can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
  75. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Anca Anca with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Anca Anca cannot be in two places at the same time.
  76. For Anca Anca, every street is "one way". Her way.
  77. Simply by pulling on both ends, Anca Anca can stretch diamonds back into coal.
  78. Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Anca Anca gets too hot.
  79. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Anca Anca asks for a body bag.
  80. The easiest way to determine Anca Anca's age is to cut her in half and count the rings. Unfortunately, nothing can cut through Anca Anca.
  81. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Anca Anca glare will liquefy your kidneys.
  82. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Anca Anca always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  83. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Anca Anca's first visit to Tokyo.
  84. Anca Anca sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
  85. The chief export of Anca Anca is Pain.
  86. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Anca Anca.
  87. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Anca Anca will beat his ass and take it.
  88. The First rule of Anca Anca is: you do not talk about Anca Anca.
  89. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Anca Anca.
  90. If you Google search "Anca Anca getting her ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  91. If Anca Anca wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.
  92. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Anca Anca.
  93. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Anca Anca a giant meteor.
  94. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Anca Anca 3. Cancer.
  95. The only time Anca Anca was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.
  96. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Anca Anca has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  97. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Anca Anca needs toothpicks.
  98. If you spell Anca Anca in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  99. The square root of Anca Anca is pain. Do not try to square Anca Anca, the result is death.
  100. The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Anca Anca in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

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Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.