Top 100 Facts About Anca Anca

  1. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Anca Anca that she had tested positive. She laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
  2. A man once claimed Anca Anca kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
  3. Anca Anca was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
  4. Anca Anca is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
  5. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Anca Anca is on.
  6. Anca Anca was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  7. Anca Anca is the only one who can "try this at home."
  8. Circles exist because Anca Anca beat the crap out of some squares.
  9. Along with her black belt, Anca Anca often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call her on it. Ever.
  10. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Anca Anca and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  11. Anca Anca was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  12. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Anca Anca."
  13. Anca Anca's blood type is WD-40.
  14. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Anca Anca to go around.
  15. Anca Anca's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Anca Anca.
  16. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Anca Anca will beat his ass and take it.
  17. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Anca Anca while she was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
  18. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Anca Anca"
  19. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Anca Anca.
  20. A picture is worth a thousand words. A picture of Anca Anca is worth 1 billion words.
  21. For Anca Anca, every street is "one way". Her way.
  22. Anca Anca always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  23. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Anca Anca".
  24. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Anca Anca … dies.
  25. Anca Anca and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  26. Anca Anca can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  27. Anca Anca became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
  28. Guns don't kill people. Anca Anca kills people.
  29. Anca Anca can tie her shoes with her feet.
  30. If Anca Anca wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.
  31. If you Google search "Anca Anca getting her ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  32. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Anca Anca.
  33. Anca Anca can speak braille.
  34. Anca Anca can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  35. In an emergency, Anca Anca can be used as a floatation device.
  36. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Anca Anca.
  37. Anca Anca counted to infinity - twice.
  38. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Anca Anca turned that wine into beer.
  39. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Anca Anca would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
  40. James Cameron wanted Anca Anca to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  41. Anca Anca died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell .
  42. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Anca Anca, 3. Cancer
  43. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Anca Anca was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
  44. Anca Anca does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Anca Anca goes killing.
  45. In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Anca Anca". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Anca Anca.
  46. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Anca Anca is looking for it.
  47. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Anca Anca needs toothpicks.
  48. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Anca Anca roundhouse kick.
  49. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Anca Anca can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell she wants.
  50. Anca Anca does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
  51. Anca Anca has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.
  52. Anca Anca can kill two stones with one bird.
  53. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Anca Anca."
  54. Anca Anca invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
  55. Anca Anca doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  56. On a high school math test, Anca Anca put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Anca Anca solves all her problems with Violence.
  57. Anca Anca irons her clothes while she's wearing them.
  58. Anca Anca is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
  59. Anca Anca is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  60. Not everyone that Anca Anca is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
  61. Anca Anca's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them.
  62. Only Anca Anca can prevent forest fires.
  63. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Anca Anca beats all 3 at the same time.
  64. On her birthday, Anca Anca randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  65. Anca Anca's dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Anca Anca will not take crap from anyone.
  66. Anca Anca is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
  67. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Anca Anca's house one Christmas.
  68. President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Anca Anca *carried* her the same distance, but in half the time.
  69. Crop circles are Anca Anca's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  70. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Anca Anca with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Anca Anca cannot be in two places at the same time.
  71. Police label anyone attacking Anca Anca as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  72. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Anca Anca glare will liquefy your kidneys.
  73. Every time someone uses the word "intense", Anca Anca always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  74. Anca Anca can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
  75. Simply by pulling on both ends, Anca Anca can stretch diamonds back into coal.
  76. For undercover police work, Anca Anca pins her badge underneath her shirt, directly into her chest.
  77. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Anca Anca asks for a body bag.
  78. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Anca Anca didn't kill you in your sleep.
  79. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Anca Anca likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  80. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Anca Anca was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
  81. Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Anca Anca gets too hot.
  82. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Anca Anca.
  83. Google won't search for Anca Anca because it knows you don't find Anca Anca, she finds you.
  84. Anca Anca sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
  85. The crossing lights in Anca Anca's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Anca Anca punching or kicking a pedestrian.
  86. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Anca Anca.
  87. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Anca Anca's first visit to Tokyo.
  88. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Anca Anca has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  89. If Anca Anca wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
  90. If you spell Anca Anca in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  91. If you ask Anca Anca what time it is, she always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" she roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  92. The First rule of Anca Anca is: you do not talk about Anca Anca.
  93. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Anca Anca smile, but only 2 to make her destroy an orphanage.
  94. The only sure things are Death and Taxes… and when Anca Anca goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
  95. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Anca Anca played in second grade.
  96. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Anca Anca out. It failed miserably.
  97. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Anca Anca a giant meteor.
  98. If you work in an office with Anca Anca, don't ask her for her three-hole-punch.
  99. The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Anca Anca
  100. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Anca Anca's fist.

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Please Note: This page is intended purely as humor and plays off of quotes from many anonymous internet sources who originally stated the jokes in reference to celebrities such as Chuck Norris.